▸ Column · Modern-day New York City, Marvel Universe
SPIDER-MAN replies.
Replied to by Spider-Man, with a rebuttal from Green Goblin.
The letter
Eight months in with Kevin and I'm starting to feel like I'm going a little bit crazy. Not in an obvious way — more like, I keep noticing things that don't add up. He said he'd quit smoking, but I found an unopened pack wedged under his car seat. He told me his sister had plans that weekend and couldn't do brunch, and then I saw her post photos of the two of them out together that same morning (same restaurant, literally). He borrowed money from me back in March — two hundred dollars — and last week he swore on his life he'd already paid it back. I checked. He hadn't. And when I brought it up, he acted like I was the problem for remembering.
I've been writing these down. I know how that sounds. But I'm at twenty now, and it's not exactly getting shorter.
My friend Dana thinks I should take this seriously — her whole thing is that someone who'll lie when nothing's even at stake will definitely lie when something is. I think she's probably right? But he's genuinely good to me in a lot of other ways, and I keep going back and forth. Is this a pattern I should be worried about, or am I building a case against someone who just doesn't track details well?
— Keeping Score in Queens
Spider-Man replies
I want to be careful here because I'm, uh, not exactly the gold standard for honesty in relationships. Ask MJ sometime — and brace yourself, because she has thoughts. I spent years telling the people closest to me I had to "handle something" without ever explaining what that something was, and I watched what it did to them over time. So I know this territory better than I'd like.
Twenty things is not a bad memory. A bad memory forgets dentist appointments. Twenty things over eight months is a pattern, and patterns don't care whether any single example seems small.
Here's what's also nagging at me: the Notes app. You're keeping a file you haven't told him exists. I understand the impulse — I really do, I've built mental case files on people in situations way more life-or-death than yours. But I also know where secret-keeping goes when it becomes your answer to someone else's secret-keeping. That web just gets stickier.
What I'd actually do? Talk to him. Not a confrontation with every receipt laid out — just the honest thing: this has been worrying me, here's why, I need to know if I can trust you. Give him a real shot to step up. If he turns it back around and makes you feel like the problem? Dana's right, and you already have your answer.
You don't have to decide right now. But find out before you decide.
— Spider-Man
Green Goblin weighs in
Heh heh HEE HEE! Oh, the wall-crawler wants you to talk it out. How precious.
You have twenty documented instances of Kevin lying. Twenty. Do you have any idea what a mind like mine could BUILD with twenty confirmed vulnerabilities? That's not a trust problem, sweetheart — that's a leverage portfolio.
Dana's little warning isn't wrong, it's just small. The question was never whether Kevin will eventually lie about something that matters. He already does, and you already know it. The question is whether you're going to play this from strength or from hurt.
Drop him or don't. But stop sniveling about trust like a frightened little hero. The Notes app stays.
— Green Goblin
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